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MY
DREAM GIRL (2003)
Reviewed
by Andrew Saroch
George
Bernard Shaw's 'Pygmalion' is a story that has been borrowed
and adapted by countless films and theatre productions. While
Hollywood used it for 'My Fair Lady', Hong Kong has plundered
the idea for films like 'Other Side Of Gentleman' and 'The
Greatest Lover'. However, few productions have been as
ineptly handled and poorly constructed as this romantic comedy
of 2003. To squander the original concept - rich as it is in
possibilities - takes a director like Raymond Yip.
After
finding his long-lost daughter, Ling (Zhao), in a Chinese
village, wealthy automobile tycoon Cheung (Ng) decides to take
her to his palatial home and get re-acquainted with her. The
years in relative poverty have taken their obvious toll,
though, with Ling's eating habits and basic hygiene creating
major problems for her father. To solve this quandary, Cheung
enlists the help of out-of-work Joe (Cheng) who claims to be a
style consultant and promises to make Ling the socialite
daughter that will wow upper-class Shanghai. The task proves
to be particularly challenging and Joe's various attempts to
change his project's demeanour initially fail. Nevertheless,
Joe's efforts are at least making an impression on Ling's
heart and he suddenly finds that his own feelings towards her
are thrown into confusion.
I
only have myself to blame. After my fingers have been burnt on
more than one occasion by Raymond Yip's scattershot handling
of material, I keep coming back for more. 'My Dream Girl' is a
pitiful example of how poor a badly orchestrated romantic
comedy can be; to have such a lack of both all-important
elements takes directorial mismanagement of epic proportions.
Even though the well-worn premise should give a production of
this nature a head start, it isn't long before the sheer
laziness of the work rises to the surface.
There
are probably enough problems with this film to devote to a
whole thesis, but thankfully for you I have to condense it
down into a much shorter review. The first thing that struck
me as the film progressed was just how bad a job Ekin Cheng's
character was actually doing. Appearing like an hellish,
exaggerated version of the 'before' segments on 'What Not To
Wear', Vicki Zhao is taken from social degradation and given a
bizarre Chinese-afro cut, a Monroe-esque blond wig and a whole
Burberry outfit that makes its wearer look like a psychedelic
Sherlock Holmes. If I was employing Cheng to re-style my
daughter and this was what he came up with I'd probably have
him horse-whipped. Obviously some of this ineptitude is
intended to be comical, but it seems quite strange that thirty
minutes of these design nightmares flashes by without any of
the other characters noticing. One final question crops up in
my mind: why do Mainland characters always seem to have these
bubble perms that are intended to make them look backward (see
Chow Yun-Fat in 'The Greatest Lover')? Is the 1970s
incarnation of Kevin Keegan held with god-like esteem in
China?
Ekin
Cheng is an actor who I often find myself defending against
public antipathy - he has improved immeasurably since those
wretched 'Young And Dangerous' days and he does lend a modicum
of charisma to most of his recent appearances. In 'My Dream
Girl' neither he or Vicki Zhao have any hope of
generating any chemistry; as the film drags on, it's obvious
that you'd have more chance of seeing a graveyard burst into a
spontaneous rendition of the hokey cokey then have these stars
actually create a genuine feeling of love for one another.
From the opening scenes where Richard Ng suddenly discovers
his long-lost daughter to Zhao's remarkable attachment to
Cheng, the characters and situations are deplorably
underwritten. Even the most forgiving (read comatosed)
audience cannot simply accept these situations without some
kind of incidental scenes helping to show the various
relationships grow.
'My
Dream Girl' has an interesting Shanghai locale and an eager
cast in its favour. Though I don't want to keep tearing apart
Yip's various efforts quite so feverently, I simply despair of
such an amateurish execution of good material, especially by a
director who sporadically shows that he could do much better.
I've lost 90 minutes of my life that could've been more
productively spent on getting rid of those pesky nostril
hairs. Make sure you don't make the same mistake.
Rating:
 
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